Pregnancy Update

I don't remember much about the beginning of my pregnancy with Colin. It's a bunch of pieces to a puzzle that give me clues as to how I felt. I remember falling asleep on the copy room floor at my job because I couldn't function any longer. I remember eating countless amounts of wheat thins because I felt a light wave of nausea throughout the morning, but not enough to make me unable to function. I remember sleeping away the daylight while Shane hung out with our friends, Jason and Megan.

I'm now 11 weeks pregnant. It's been 6 weeks since I discovered the magical blue plus sign and I can't say it's been easy.

I don't know why I didn't feel any symptoms until after I knew I was pregnant. It's like my body was holding out on me so I had an explanation as to why I was going to bed at 8:30 and unable to button my jeans.

I know I'm a different person these days. It takes a heck of a lot to pull me out from the auto-pilot version of myself that I've become. Get up, get ready, go to work, come home, attempt to give Colin the playfulness I know he wants/needs, feel guilty for failing, bed. That's been my routine. The only reason I've ever been able to slip out of this first trimester coma is because of one person: Shane.

I can't tell you all that I feel when I think about what he's doing for me. I can try, but I already feel my eyes stinging from tears starting to form and once that gets going there is virtually nothing I can do to stop it.

It's not just that he put away my laundry that had been sitting on the floor in our bedroom for a month.

It's not just that he gives me spontaneous massages to help me fall asleep faster.

It's not just that he listens, really listens, to my rants, my whining and my irritable complaints about how I feel.

It's not just that he wrote me a poem in hopes of brightening my afternoon.

.....

It's the way that every day, without hesitation, he makes every effort to make my life easier and more comfortable. How, without spending a penny, he comes up with amazing ways to make me feel like the luckiest woman in the world. I couldn't imagine going through this journey and not having his love and unwavering support.

More now than ever, I love this man.

I know this will get easier. I know I'll start feeling more like myself and that my energy will be replenished. But it would be hard to look to the light at the end of the tunnel if I didn't have Shane's hands to help hold my head up.

So here's to the first trimester almost being over, to the 5 lbs I've quickly gained and to Shane. Oh, and to getting through this post without crying....almost.