Pregnancy Perks & Problems

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and there were a number of things that occurred simply because I am pregnant. This got me thinking about all of the things that are made more difficult or funny by pregnancy and all the things that come with it. So, I decided to create a small list of experiences I've had during my pregnancies that I've found frustrating, funny, ironic and just plain weird. Feel free to comment below to add yours as well!

1. Getting into my car yesterday, I slid into the driver seat as I normally do. My belly, however, had a mind of it's own and hit the steering wheel right on the horn. Hands-free honking? I didn't sign up for that.

2. Do you ever get tired of the urine samples at your doctor's appointments? How about when you get to the point where it becomes a guessing game called "Blindly Catch Enough Ounces for Your Urine Sample". I didn't realize that I needed to bring a handheld mirror so I can avoid peeing everywhere BUT the cup. Can someone please just invent a urine sample only toilet so we can all put the days of awkwardly holding a cup down there behind us?

3. It's a good thing I can barely see my feet, because not only am I unable to bend my body in a way that enables me to put on socks, but I can kiss goodbye the days of putting on nail polish, foot scrubs or any other luxury that makes my feet feel good. Pregnancy should come with an on-call pedicurist. Just saying.

4. I work in an office where it's expected for the employees to dress somewhere in between business professional and business casual. Up until a few months ago, this was no issue at all. My pants still buttoned, all my shirts were long enough to cover my belly and my feet weren't puffy and therefore still comfortably fit into all my shoes. Nowadays, I walk into the office wearing something out of my limited maternity rotation of clothes. I don't care if that means jeans on a Monday, if it makes me comfortable, that's what I'm wearing! I'm not going to go out and buy a new set of clothes that I'll be swimming in later on just so I can uphold the dress code.

5. Eating for Two. I'd like to know who created this false phrase that brainwashed me into thinking I could eat whatever I wanted and as much as I wanted while I was pregnant. I remember reading the first time around that you really only needed an extra 200 calories a day and I immediately thought back to the days I'd spent eating everything in sight "so the baby would be healthy"...aka because I had an excuse to get fat. I still eat more than is recommended, but this is really nothing different than non-pregnant life. We'll see how much I regret those extra cupcakes when I give birth to a 13 pound baby.

6. I'm not sure what it is about pregnancy, but it gives people cause to have the strangest reactions. The people I like least are the ones who think they have a right to touch your belly, even if they don't know you. I've only had this happen a few times, but one time was so uncomfortable that I don't think I'll ever forget it. Shane and I were in Fred Meyer late in my first pregnancy when a woman stopped us in one of the aisles. She asked the typical questions and then proceeded to move closer to me while asking if she could pray for the baby. I remember thinking, "Sure lady, knock yourself out", but what I didn't realize is that she meant right then and there. She put her hands on my stomach, closed her eyes and began going off in prayer as I stared at Shane with huge eyes and tried to think of a way to wrap it up. Don't me wrong, I'm all for prayer. I'm not for strangers touching me and creating a clog in a grocery aisle when all other people want to do is get past us to pick up their cereal.

7. A few nights ago, Shane and I were watching TV before bedtime. Our show ended and I gave a big grunt as I tried to stand up....then nothing. I was stuck. Actually, physically stuck in a squat position. Butt off the couch, far from standing up straight and I couldn't move! I wobbled a bit before I finally found the balance, strength and flexibility to straighten my body out. This wasn't the first time my belly has completely thrown off my balance. For the first time in my adult life, about a week ago, I actually rolled off our bed. I was asleep up until the point my butt hit the ground, but I remember looking up at Shane and saying, "I just fell off the bed!!" He, of course, was still half-asleep so I think he mumbled something about me being ok and then went back to sleep (how the thud didn't shake the house, I'll never know!).

8. I love the pregnancy waddle. There's something so hilarious about watching a woman walk like a bowl-legged toddler for a few months. I especially love when we're on one of our nightly walks and I can feel my ponytail violently swishing from side to side because it's gotten that out of control. It's one of my few pregnancy joys!

These are just a few of things that irritate, confuse and entertain me about pregnancy. Hopefully some of you can relate and I'm not the only one!

Here's to the last 6 weeks!